WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A MUM- TO A LITTLE GIRL...

 I've asked myself this question over and over again. This is hands down the hardest thing I have ever done. this question is the hardest to answer as well and in some ways so simple.

Yes, to give birth ...

Yes , to adapt a child/children...

Yes, to have a family...

But let's be honest with ourselves, being a mother is so much more.

For me being a mum to Rhea as been completely overwhelming with responsibilities, love, tears, joy, confusion and selflessness. Being a mum as been somewhat of a roller coaster for me. If you have been following my blog for a while then you will notice that I've mentioned that Rhea was a shy and reserved child when younger(somewhat still a little reserved, but I guess that's just apart of her personality).

I had to acknowledge the profound value in learning and understanding who my daughter is, and even though she didn't speak much back then, I had to try and figure out her thoughts and emotions in specific times when she felt shy and reassured her that I am and will always be here. From these episodes I would then encourage and teach her to be the best version of herself. Bare in mind, I had to teach myself how to be a mum to a shy child. So we  are both learning. That's when I noticed she loves dancing, so I encouraged her to work on this , and in doing so built her confidence.

It's my greatest hope that my unconditional love will empower and strengthen her, as well as foster her self-confidence and kindness. (ps. she is just too kind for this cruel world).

Helping my daughter through all the crazy things life throws at her at such a young age, while lifting her up so she can reach for the stars. For me that's what being a mum is.

I'm her biggest cheerleader(as much as she is mine)

I'm her motivational speaker

I'm her confidant

I'm her protector

I'm her guidance counsellor, and the list goes on.

Being a mum means sacrificing my time, my finances, my sleep, my mental health. Whether we believe it or not, being a mum sometimes means sacrificing buying that wig or going to the hairdresser one month because your child as outgrown all his/her clothes and needs a wardrobe update (why do they grow so fast though haha). |Being a mum means enduring painful situations to ensure your child is happy. Being a mum means wearing my heart on my shoulder, out there afraid and vulnerable, yet somehow finding such fulfilment that I am able to appreciate the beautiful scary journey. Though it is maddening and terrifying at times, it is also the most beautiful and glorious experience.

so, when you open your mouth to judge a hard working mum who gives motherhood the best she can, bite your tongue first. It's a hell of a job. Imagine working a full time nightshift job, then coming home to be a mum. hmm girlll it isn't easy. But I wouldn’t trade a moment of it. Being a mum makes me so much more and makes me want to be so much more.. what can I say.. it’s a blessing !!

 Gold medal for the mums with 2 or more kids. I honour you.

It's a feeling not an explanation, when you feel it and experience it, you'll know it!! 

Sometimes the smallest things takes up the biggest space in your heart ❤

Thanks for stopping by loves, Good night and Good morning

xoxo Patrice 

HOW TO EXPLAIN RACISM TO A 7 YEAR OLD ...

Rhea (my daughter): Mummy what does Black Lives Matter really means?

Me: (panicking, cause I think I need to talk to my "7 year old" about racism. A topic I've been avoiding for a couple years now).

When children begin growing curious about the world around them, they usually look to their parents to explain, and with what's going on, on the news, YouTube, you name the social media network. There is no hiding this anymore. We as parents at some point won't have a choice but to answer to the sometimes scary questions about racism. Please note, this does not go for on my black kids, but kids or families of all race.

Although we want our children to ask questions, who they're asking matters. It's one thing to have a child confide in their parent, it's a completely other thing for them to blatantly ask someone they don't know. If you get my point...
Talking about race can be very sensitive, especially because Rhea is only 7. But she is as curious as a cat, and as a mind of a child twice her age. So yeah the racism topic is delicate, and even a bit messy.

Some parents may choose not to have the conversation of race with their kids. However, some children may inevitably learn about it by confronting racism in their everyday lives.
My daughter is only seven, and as experience racism (unknowingly) a couple times.
But they are soo innocent. Young children have natural curiosity about differences, but they don't put any value on what it really means.
Rhea acknowledge that her hair isn't straight( and if it's always up to me, will never be). She acknowledge the various skin colour and accents. But in her eyes it doesn't matter.

Some people choose not to talk about race,  because they don't want to raise their children to be too caught up with the differences, assuming the child will see each other as being "equal".
And I was one of those parents!!
But the hard truth is we are not, never as been, and evidently from current events we are still fighting to be.
Walking around acting like you don't see the differences can actually do more harm than good to our kids and even us adults.
"At our core, we are the same. We all want the feel safe, accepted and loved. But teaching kids to be colorblind sets them up for failure." - Coleman Mortley.

Parents need to educate themselves, if we are not completely aware. Teach children about historical events, peaceful protest and the reasons behind them, and of course be open to answer questions about current events. What they are seeing on the news; what they may or may not experienced at school or even when walking on the street.
Talk to them about racial differences and how people are sometimes treated unfairly on the basis of race. Prepare your child to be self-aware, smart and safe out there.

2020 has been a year of lesson and wisdom. A year to remember as we say. After sheltering our kids at home from the deadly coronavirus , juggling home-schooling and maintaining our sanity. Here comes another crisis, right. But ..this one we can't go on quarantine to protect ourselves and kids. Because it's literally everywhere. Now it's likely that our kids might find a video of George Floyd taking his last breathe. If they haven't seen it, they have heard us parents speaking of it.
Ask them what they know and what they've seen. Ask them what they understand about it and how it makes them feel.

If you are like me it might be a scary topic, because I fight my daughter's battles without her knowing to protect her. But now is the time to educate ourselves, our kids and speak up.

I could go on and on with this topic , but I will leave it here. Parents should model the behaviour we want for our kids to follow, and not hide the truth, but limit their exposure to the media; to the harsh reality. Kids are not born racist , racism is taught.  So make a difference. Teach our kids that the colour of our skin or race. Whether Black, white, Asian, Espanic or Northern American.  Doesn't make us different. We shouldn't be treated differently because of the pigment in our skin. No race is superior or inferior to any.
We are equal, and should be treated as such!!

Thanks for stopping by loves,
Good night and Good morning


xxx
Patrice 

FINDING HOPE IN THIS CHALLENGING TIME...

Things have changed so drastically in a matter of weeks. It's as if someone hit the pause button on the world, everything and everyone in it.
I'm aware of the many challenges we may be facing in this time, health wise, mental state or financial security. I'm not going to try and convince you or myself that we are ok, and we are going to get up everyday feeling jolly, put on our Sunday best and pretend that's nothing is wrong.
But we have been giving the opportunity to reaccess our priorities and the habits we have created- whether good or bad.

 As young and vibrant as my daughter is the other day she broke down because she said she misses school, and scared for me(as I still need to work), she's scared for our family back home and her nan who as been stuck at her holiday location for two months. So we are all suffering in one way or another.

It's a time of heightened emotions, uncertainty and fear. It's a time that we all ask ourselves.. what if!!
But, it also compels us to ask ourselves this question... What is your priority??


Some people(kids and adult alike) are "stuck" inside with abusive family members. So if you are safe at home, if you are able to provide food on the table and you've got a love one to give a cuddle when needed, consider yourself lucky and blessed. which brings me to this question..Is your home a prison or a sanctuary??

Here are a few pointers on how to be hopeful and maintain your mental health that's working for me while being stuck at home or having to leave your families to go to work:-

1. Go outside to look at nature-
Go in your back garden(if you have one), or open your window. listen to the singing birds, watch the squirrels jump from limb to limb. these little things help us to appreciate life, and acknowledge how blessed we are to be alive.

2. Practise gratitude-
Be grateful for the little things, as I said before. Not everyone has a safe home, internet, tablets to keep our kids entertained. Not everyone is able to provide for their families , because they are unemployed. Gratitude is a must!
As the term goes "stop and smell the roses".
Whenever I go outside my home, as soon as I get to my front door, before I step my feet in the house, I take a few seconds and say 'Thank you'. Being able to get back home to our families( especially if you are a key worker), is indeed something to be grateful for.

3. Look at the possibilities in your life, not the limitations.

4.Tap into your creative side-
Do something creative that you liked doing but haven't had the time to do it because you were too busy. Whether it be sewing, drawing, writing, baking and the list goes on. You are more creative than you know, and now is the time.

5.Priotise your mental health-
Be mindful of your emotional state. Stay in the current with what's happening, but don't overindulge in news or allow fear or paranoia to take a hold on you. How we feel as a huge influence on our health as well.

6. Stay in touch-
It is imperative that we practise social distancing, but staying in touch with family and friends virtually is vital. Keep in touch with those people that brings you laughter, it feeds the soul, and of course our mental health.

7. Dance..Dance..Dance-
Dance like no one is watching (well no one is ahah). It relaxes the mind and brings out the fun side of you.

"staying positive doesn't mean you need to be happy all the time. It means that even on the hard days you know that there are better ones coming."

And most of all, remember you are not doing this alone!

Thanks for stopping by loves.
Good night and Good morning.
Stay home,stay safe!

xoxo
Patrice 

WHAT MAKES A WOMAN BEAUTIFUL...

As you guys might figure out if you've been following my blog, I'm a feminist. I'm a strong believer of women empowerment, and I love to see confident, strong women. I choose to celebrate you my followers on this post by using photos (permission granted)of some of my day-one supporters. All beautiful women in my opinion!!

Beautiful...
As simple as it might sound, it's a powerful word. In my opinion one of the most powerful words used to describe a woman. It's not a word to be thrown around as frivolously like hot, pretty, sexy or whatever words try are using nowadays. Which is basically just describing the size of our waist, the symmetry of our faces or the fullness of our lips. It is a word that chases women to plastic surgery, extreme diets and low self-esteem. But isn't being beautiful about so much more than a pretty face??

Let me just put it out there. The mirror reflects, it doesn't define. So when you look in the mirror you basically see what you want to see. Bare in mind, if your mind and body doesn't get along, then you are your biggest enemy.

Side Note: someone will tell you that you are ugly just to sell you something to make you feel like you are somehow more beautiful.  Well news flash, beauty isn't just a look, it's internal. Beauty is how you carry yourself , your personality, who you are..
As the phrase states "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder" and in my opinion, there is a quality of the soul or personality that can turn a beautiful face into a ugly one.

4 Things that makes a woman beautiful:

1.  Her Confidence:
A woman who doesn't need a man is a woman who is confident, and confidence is the key to real beauty. A woman who doesn't need the approval of others radiates with poise that elevates her from the status of "just a pretty face". Confidence isn't about wanting others to notice us and wanting them to tell us how good we look or act. Confidence is a woman who knows, you have all this, you are proud of yourself, doesn't matter who else knows or what they think about you.
There is beauty in a woman that doesn't need reassurance to help her feel pride in herself.

2.  Her Mind:
There is this myth that a beautiful woman isn't smart. Well I believe the complete opposite. A woman can have the complete package. Boobs, brains and bootie haha.
Basically, there is a stereotype that if a woman looks too appealing then she can't have anything on the upstairs, and if she "has her nose in a book" then she can't be hot or pretty. Again wrong!
Knowledge is empowerment, and empowerment is sexy and in my opinion a quality of a beautiful woman.

3.  Her fun-loving spirit:
Who really want to share space with a Debbie Downer?? hmm..
Don't get me wrong, this is not to say that a woman must be positive and happy all the time. We all have struggles and issues dealing with. The point is being able to be resilient, and appreciate the little things that life has to offer. Being able to make someone smile even on your worst days. A woman that is able to connect with others on different levels. Whether it be to make silly gestures, dance, sing out loud or just chill and talk about life. possessing these qualities in my opinion is indeed beautiful.

4.  And last but for me one of the highest on my list. Her Energy:
Listen!! If your energy is wrong, babe I'm out! lol.
A woman's energy is the combination of all of the above, and more. When a woman follow her passion, is compassionate, intelligent, refuses to give up, believes in herself, keeps a sense of adventure and spark with confidence. That energy will be the spark that lights up everyone and everything around her.
That's a beautiful woman!!
Less perfection, more authenticity!

To sum it all up. Beauty is the qualities that elevates a woman from just pretty or sexy. It's the way she radiates from the inside out. It's her soul and her spark and of course that one thing you just can't put your finger on.
"A sign of a beautiful person is that they always see the beauty in others"

Thanks again to these beautiful ladies for allowing me to use their photos.

xx Patrice 

WHO ARE YOU?/ SELF-REALIZATION...

According to Google, "Self Realization is the fulfillment of oneself, of the possibilities of character or personality."

Have you ever taken a minute and asked yourself... who am I !!!
Sure you are a mum, a sister, a daughter, a girlfriend, a wife, a husband, a nurse, an engineer. But the truth is, you are a wife because you are married to your husband, you are a mum because you have a child/children. You are a girlfriend because he is your boyfriend, and the list goes on. So basically everything you may come to believe you are, everything you believe yourself to be, are all dependent on someone else. So the question still stands... Who am I??...Who are you??
Without anyone or anything else, what is your identity as an individual...

When people don't have a strong sense of their own self, they easily live the way other people tell them to live. And because of this you may easily become a victim of depression. You are unhappy and may even suffer from low self-esteem.

Recently I found myself in a situation where instead of being myself, I was trying to be loyal to someone else, and I stopped myself cause it took me out of my comfort zone.. my individuality. So the fact is if you know yourself, you know your style, what you will or will not tolerate, what you are capable of. And you know what is or isn't for you.
When you know and accept who you are, other people opinion of you doesn't matter. Give a cheeky smile and move on. If your attitude or confidence bothers them. Their problem!!.
Never lower your standards to accommodate anyone. That's a sign of desperation.

Knowing your strength is the foundation of self-confidence. Likewise, knowing your weaknesses can help you to be honest with yourself and others about what you are good at. As well as you may chose to work on this or not.
Society changes daily whether it be through fashion, your working environment or social life. So as individuals its vital to stay true to ourselves, because society's values often conflict with our own.

Why is Self-realization or knowing who we are is important:

Tolerance- Basically you don't tolerate bullshit. You protect your peace.

Happiness- You will be much happier when you are able to express who you truly are. It takes too much effort to pretend to make someone happy, when you can just simply be yourself, and keep that smile on your faces and mental health in tacked.

Better decision making- When you know yourself, you are able to make better choices about everything. From small decisions like which coat you will buy to big decisions like which guy you will date or spend your life with.
Resistance of Social Pressure- When you are grounded in your values and preferences you are less likely to say yes, when you really want to say no.

Knowing yourself means listening to your own needs, it means understanding what kind of lifestyle you want and to be living and then pursuing it unapologetically.
Knowing yourself is the beginning  of your self-confidence and happiness. I mean how can you love yourself if you don't even know who YOU are!!

"You attract the right things when you have a sense of who you are"
--Amy Poehler

So to sum it all up, never lower your standards to accommodate anyone. Know who you are, your values, beliefs and morals. And most importantly don't tolerate bullshit!!

Thanks for stopping by loves

xoxo
Patrice

HOW TO CARE YOUR NATURAL HAIR IN WINTER...

Hi beauts,

 I know its been a minute or two since I've posted on here. To be honest I've had "writter's block" for the past few months. Whenever I start writing I run out of words or it's just not as good. But anyway, I'm back

Hope I haven't lost all my readers.

Now that the air is getting chilly, why did I even say chilly, it's getting proper cold. Wind and harsh cols air sucks the moisture out of your hair, this of course cause dryness, split ends and eventually breakage. And to add gasoline to fire. You may try to protect your hair with a nice warm wool hat, and yeah they do get the job done, but depends on the material of the hat, they may pull and snag on your hair, hence again leading to damage hair. So literally there is no escaping really with this weather.

I came up with a few tips on how to protect and care Rhea's natural hair during these cold months, So here goes:

Use Protective Styles

I don't believe winter is a time for wash and go everyday. Protective Style is the way to go, as this will help to trap moisture in the hair. Protective styles retain growth while growing hair longer and keeping the hair soft during this process. In addition, using protective styles in winter protects the ends of your hair strands, hence not as much frizz, split ends or breakage. However, this doesn't mean you should put your hair in protective style from November to March. Which leads to my next tip...

Moisture...Moisture...Moisture

Just as how the skin gets dry and itchy during winter, so does the scalp and your strands. And dry strands equals brittle hair which is prone  to breakage. It important to note that when it comes to natural hair, "Oil is not a moisture". If your hair is dry and you add oil you will only trap the dryness. Oil is a sealant. It's best to use water based products, such as leave in conditioner or creams, THEN, use oil to seal in the moisture.

Last, but one of the most important. Deep Conditioning. You can never deep condition too much. To be honest I avoid washing Rhea's hair as often in colder months cause I don't want her to be sick, and no I don't ever sue heat in her hair, so usually it air dries after a wash. Going to bed in winter with wet hair isn't the best idea. 

Side note: Washing your hair less often will also help regain your hair's natural body and luster.

Let's get back to it. Deep Conditioners give your hair the nutrients and moisture it need during wintery days. Treating and caring for every strand, whether it be split ends or frizz from these cold windy days.

So you don't need to leave your hair in hibernation under your wigs or hat until the weather is friendly again. With a great routine, you can keep your hair happy, moisturised and healthy throughout the winter months.

Thanks for stopping by loves

Good night and Good morning ...

xoxo

Patrice

CONFESSIONS OF A MUM...

Being a mum is the most the most amazing gift. I love my daughter endlessly. I really can't imagine my life without her.

Ok… so now that's out the way, here's the deal. As mums we all try to be perfect, or others looking in might say, "oh she's just a perfect mother, she just makes it seem so easy". but is that really the truth. Of course most of the time we 'try' to be perfect(exaggerating on the TRY).

There are certain things mothers are not supposed to think, or at least say out loud. But my thoughts every now and the may include and are not limited to :

If she say mummy one more time I'm going to scream.

I think I need a drink.

I need some me time.

Yeah yeah… I know I have one child, but I'm so use to being by myself with my own space my entire life and sometimes being a mum can be a bit overwhelming.

No matter how perfect of a mum we try to be, we all feel it, we've all experienced it.

So here's my confession:

• Sometimes I wish I could be alone for a day (I know I would miss her if I go without her any longer).
• Sometimes I wish I didn't need to think about what to make for dinner.
• Sometimes I wish I didn't need to do school runs.
• Sometimes I wish I could walk around half naked in the house and be spontaneous.
• I do turn the burnt side of the toast/fried plantains down, and cross my fingers that's she wont notice.
• I do sometimes wish she could go to bed early so I can watch my inappropriate movies and have a drink.
• I do promise her treats and when I forget I tell her there was none at the shops.
• I sometimes get fast food cause I'm not in the mood to make her a proper meal.
• There are moments when I wonder what my life would be like without a child.

On the contrary, those moments when she gives me huggles (hugs+ cuddles, its our thing haha), and tells me I'm the most beautiful mummy. Or when she came home with a certificate for being the star student of the year in her class. These are the moments I live for.

Sure I've had bad days when I'm just not in the mood. Sometimes I need to take more than a few deep breaths. But then her little kisses would light up my heart, and at the end of the day my heart is fuller than I ever thought it could be.

I get to play the role of being a parent to this amazing little beauty, who looks up to me and who cross rooms to give me a hug. And all I need to do is be the best version of me, love and feed her.

Being a mother is hard and admitting this is not failure, it's a fact. We are not perfect, but at least we try!!

"The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable".

Thanks for stopping by loves

Sending loads of love your way..

xxx Patrice 

5 THINGS I'VE LEARNT ABOUT MYSELF AND LIFE...

I've grown so much over the pass few years. I've gone through life and had so many different experiences from which I'm constantly learning. I know in the future I will probably look back and realise that in my 30s I knew so little. But we live and learn right. As they say, "experience teaches wisdom."

So here a few things that I've learnt so far:

• Finding and maintaining friendship as an adult is a lot of effort and sometimes very difficult.

True friendship in adulthood can be much harder to make and maintain than they were during golden days of lunchboxes or late night treats of dorm rooms.

I don't think I need to say much on this. As I grew older I outgrew some friendships. Some separation geographically, and some after all the partying and fun ended and I decided to start a family the friendship ended, cause we had nothing else in common and nothing much to speak about. But its called growth!

We are all grown people and are busy AF and if we don't have genuine friends then this might be difficult. I have this friend back home and we don't speak every day, some times weeks pass. I can contact this person whenever and we just catch up. No questions about "why you didn't call me" or who contacted who last. 

 I've come to realise that friendship is about people of different culture, beliefs, lifestyle and personalities coming together. We don't need to be 'the same' to be friends. As long as we accept each others differences, goals and aspiration and is willing to be there for that person and vice versa. Cheers to those who have their BFFs from high school, but I've learnt that it not all about the amount of years.

• It's ok for people to dislike me.

When I was in my teen I would question why someone likes me or doesn't speak to me but speak to everyone else. Basically I wanted acceptance.. But now I couldn't care any less. Most of those who says they don't like me(for no specific reason) are still struggling to like themselves. In my opinion sometimes its best for some of these people to not like you, Cause they are toxic, and girl I cant deal with all the negativity and chaos, I'm way too old for that shit.

If anything, it should be motivation, it just means I'm doing something right. 

Advice: Don't take them or their silly comments personally.

•  I need to be my own cheerleader

Before I would find myself looking for external sources to make me feel motivated, less overwhelmed, positive, sexy or empowered. But don't think I gave myself much credit, cause no one understands me like I do. We sometimes take our own accomplishments for granted unless someone else approves them. We question how gorgeous we are because we didn't receive a compliment.. hmm.

Well I've learnt to clap for myself. I don't need anyone's validation, and definitely don't need a compliment or word of advice to be motivated. If we need love, support and inspiration, the first place we should look is within ourselves. 

ps. I love giving compliments. I just love to see women who take care of themselves and put themselves together. I literally get excited when I see a gorgeous lady, and I'm not afraid to give a stranger a compliment. It does feel good to hear it sometimes, doesn't it!

Being my own cheerleader has the distinct ability to provide me with this sense of leadership and control. This all comes down to self-acceptance and self-worth. Self-worth comes from

within, nobody can give us, or take it away. So go ahead, give yourselves the praise you deserve..

• There's no life change that will make me happy, if I don't appreciate what I have now.

 It's our minds, thoughts and associates that gets I the way of achieving happiness. Of course a bigger bank account, my dream home would give me a smile from ear to ear. But is that where my happiness lies?

I've learnt to accept what I've got now, and work hard for what I want. I will accept life challenges . but settling is not an option. I believe in working hard (or twice as much) if necessary. If I fail, I know I can control the lessons gained from the experience and carry them in the next challenge, cause challenges are what makes life and/or achieving that goal, a bit more interesting. Things might not happen overnight, but happiness lies in reframing events to accept what is and letting go off what you cant control.

"Change the changeable,
accept the unchangeable and remove yourself from the acceptable."
-Denis Waitley.

•  I'm not defined by who I was, what I've done or where I am in life.

What can I say, I'm proud of the woman I'm becoming...

Just to let you know, these trousers are from Fashionova.

Thanks for stopping by loves

Sending loads of love your way..

xx Patrice

SHOP SOME OF THIS WEEKS FAVES BELOW

MOM APPROPRIATE STYLE: DOES THE CLOTHES MAKE THE MOM?

Dress like a mom...

I've heard this statement too many times, even targeted at celebrities. Is there an appropriate style for us mothers???

Having a child/children is known to be one of the most beautiful experiences of a woman's life. However, there are a few aftermaths that can be very stressful for us moms. I know,  I've been there. We tend to focus more on taking care of our kids and totally loose ourselves, our sense of style. We forget who we are before we become a mom.

We leave behind some old habits of course, but should we leave behind our individuality or style?

Having a child obviously changes the body. From stretch marks, dark patches to saggy boobs (for those who breast feed), extra pounds in unwanted places. I for one still struggle with my lower tummy being a bit darker, and its been 6+ freaking years, and bottles upon bottles of cocoa butter lotion, Palmers Coconut Oil Lotion and body oil. But its nothing high waist bottoms cant fix.

However, I'm not complaining about the little extra bootie and hips .. ah.

I say that to say, we may have struggled, or still struggling to feel sexy after a baby, and bigger/comfy clothes sometimes feels best. But after our body has been through so much, we deserve to at least feel ourselves again. I can admit after having a child I was fashion challenged or maybe just fashion lazy. It took some time for me to accept the physical changes to my body. Hence, I wasn't confident enough to wear my pre-baby clothes. When I got pregnant, I was determined to look good, sexy and always well put together after the baby was born. I imagined me and baby dressing up in cute outfits like the moms I see on Facebook lol. But it was nothing like this. Oh sure people said "you look really nice, and you just had a baby". But I didn't feel good or sexy at all. I remember putting an outfit together (totally not my style), and I looked like an old lady. Cause it just wasn't me!!

We dress our kids in most cutest outfits, while we are wearing a top three times as old as they are. Yes we are moms, but we are allowed to look hot/sexy too. How we dress as a mom doesn't define how good of a mother we are. Personally, pre-baby I loved showing a little skin. You would never find me going for a walk with half my butt cheek hanging out. I think my style is more modest-sexy. Now after Rhea I adjust my style to suite my curves and imperfections., but still a little skin doesn't hurt. I love wearing cropped tops and I obviously love a low neckline.. the lower the better!

Being a mom doesn't mean we need to dress like we are still 8 months pregnant.  Show the legs, show off your beautiful curves with a bodycon dress. Of course some women have dressed modest all their lives, and that's fine. All I'm saying post-baby is ok to just be YOU!

Let me make this clear... when I say "dress sexy", it doesn't mean we should go out half naked. I mean accepting the little imperfections, incorporing your style pre-baby, and being confident enough to rock whatever outfit. Being a mum is hard, hands down!!

But its doesn't mean our outfits need to look a badly as our day went.

Raising a little girl, she knows what's he is allowed to wear, and I try my best to dress her as a child, cause I believe children should be allowed to be children. As young as she is, she appreciate my style, This cheeky girl actually told me my clothes that I wear to drop her at school is boring. ah.

When she is a teenager and is allowed to choose her own clothes, I will be here to guide her in finding her personal style. I know she will be a fashion lover like her mummy, cause she already is.

To sum it all up... mums don't need to dress in frumpie clothes to be a great mum or a role model for their kids. Dress the child as a child and be as sexy and fabulous as you were pre-baby.  We mums should treat ourselves with kindness  and carry ourselves well, the way we want our little girls to care for themselves when they are our age. Cause trust me... they are watching.

"The mom doesn't become sexy, the woman does. You have to retrieve the woman from the mother".

Women can be smart, be mothers, be wives and be sexy. Who says we need to compromise.

Be You.. Do You.. For You!!

Thanks for stopping by loves

See you on my next post, don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss a post. Thank you ..

Sending loads of love your way,

xx  Patrice

SUMMER ACCESSORIES TO LEVEL UP YOUR OUTFITS...

It's the little things that makes summer.. summer! Some awesome new accessories.

Summer is fun and energetic, maybe a little bit more energy than I have. But it's my favourite time to be outside, all dressed up. Even if I'm not going out. It's the perfect time to wear your brightest and boldest pieces that you've got locked away in the back of the closest for months now.

Here are some items that I'm loving this spring/summer to level up your outfits, and of course they are some affiliated links below each so you can shop some of my favourites.

Statement Earrings

Bold , colourful jewellery are definitely a trend, and one of my fave. Wear with off the shoulder tops or a simple dress. It's a great way to step up your style game, no matter the occasion. you can get them in different colours, prints and shapes that goes perfectly with your personality or sense of style.

"Jewellery is an expression of a woman's individuality, of her story and what and who she is."

Straw Hats

My two favourite F words when it comes to my style. Functional and Fashionable.

That's exactly what these hats are. The keep the sun out, and can style with any outfit. From jeans to maxi dresses. 

If you've got a holiday planned, don't forget to get yourselves a couple. they are my daughter's fave. I got one for her to take to school, and another for our little days out when the sun is at it's best.

Sandals

Flip flops, block heels. wedge heels, tied espadrilles. You name them, they are all perfect to pair with your summer outfits. My favourite are flip-flops, cause I can pull my feet out whenever. 

If you are not showing your pedicured feet this summer, you are overdressed!

Straw Bags

This is definitely a summer staple, from round to mini box bags, oversized totes and clutches too. Straw bags are not just for the beach anymore. Again style this with any outfit. Summer accessories don't get any better than this.

Tie a scarf on your straw bags to add some colour.

Only because a little bit of summer is what the whole year is all about.. So why not be ready for it.

Of course if you subscribe to my blog you can keep up to date with the series of summer post I have planned and see how I style my favourite summer accessories for the season.

Thanks for stopping loves

Good night and good morning,

sending loads of love your way...

xx Patrice

WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A DAD TO A LITTLE GIRL/ DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A FATHER AND A DAD..

"Anyone can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a dad".

A father may believe that "donating" his sperm or taking part in the reproduction process he has done his duty in the child's life. the verb 'to father' means to procreate. Being a father requires little to no emotional investment.

On the other hand, a dad, daddy, papa, pop or whatever you might call him, makes the difference in a child's life. A child requires from his/her dad strength, support and discipline. A dad does whatever it takes to put a roof over your head, food on then table and clothes on his child/children's back. Don't get me wrong. They both may get up to go to work and provide for their family. They both may be physically "present". However, the difference I'm speaking of is much more deeper than material things. Sure it is all important. But the difference is being emotionally engaged in a child's life and providing mental support when necessary. Which is imperative when raising a child. Whether it be boy or girl, no matter the age.

Now we have a 6 year old daughter( as some of you may know), and of course I have a "father" as well. So I know what I expected as a daughter, what I want for my daughter and what I've observed with Rhea and her dad. So here goes..

What does being a dad to a little girl means?

It means learning how to love, and showing love. 

This might sound complicated, but it's really not. As a dad you know you love your child when she does simple things like using the microwave on her own for the first time, and you get all excited. Love is sacrificing your personal desires without a thought for just one chance to make your child smile. Love is listening to you daughter reading a book that is above her reading level. That burst of pride, that sparkle in your eyes. That's what it means to love a little girl.

Being a dad to a little girl means that you will act silly to entertain her, or do crazy dances to make her laugh. I wish I could share Rhea and her dad dancing sessions, but he might be a little too embarrassed haha.

Being a dad to a little girl means dedication, being supportive and most importantly, being present. A daughter needs to know that when she comes to look for daddy's face, they know exactly where to find them. A little girl need to know that daddy will be there to pick her up if she falls, to do her laces if they are loose, and to mend her toys when they are broken..

And of course daddy needs to be there when mommy says no, cause daddy will say yes.. right! ( not all the time) .. ah.

My point is, little girls do need that protection and strength from their dads. Quick example: If it was up to just me Rhea would be so gentle and we would sit around reading books, dancing and painting all day. But as soon as dad is home, it's a different vibe. loads of giggling, running, shouting, screaming. It's just different and kids need that. We have different personalities (my hubby and I) and we bring out different sides to Rhea. I love that, cause it takes two..

It takes personal discipline to be a dad, and it's not easy. There is no manual, you learn as you go along. Some men might have felt a panicked urge to cut and run, some actually do, sadly. Dads teach their little girls to be strong resilient and courageous.

And last but definitely not least. Being a dad to a little girl means setting good examples. 

kids live what they learn. Don't think I need to say much more. Don't worry  that your kids don't listen to you, worry that they are always watching.

Being a dad to a little girl means being the man that you would want your daughter to get married to years from now.. A daughter will love no other man as much as she loves her dad, so being an amazing dad or someone that she can be proud of is vital.

So to sum it all up. Being a dad to a little girl means you learn how to love and with that comes protection, guidance and pride.

I don't think enough is done in our culture to celebrate the men who is actually holding their position as a dad. Honestly, some of them are crap, but thumbs up to the ones that plays the part. Happy Father's day to all the great dads, whether you have a child of your own or being a dad to someone else' child. You are appreciated !!

A father is a son's first hero and a daughter's first love..

Happy Daddy's Day!!

Thanks for stopping by loves

Sending loads of love your way.

xx Patrice